My last post was a cliffhanger! Now onto what happened on Feb 20...

It was a normal day at work...or so I thought.  On a standard, run of the mill nursing home/assisted living 911 call.  Patient was loaded up, I reached out to pick up the EKG monitor...and pop...followed by pulling...but that was just scar tissue right? That really didn't just happen?  Nah, it's not that bad, just a little uncomfortable...must have been scar tissue.  I continued taking care of the patient, got her to the hospital, and while writing the report, noticed my shoulder getting a little stiff...that's normal.  Surely, I didn't do what I thought I did.  Then I was driving the ambulance back to the station, got there, went to turn the steering wheel, and BAM! That hurt...quite a bit...but it's still tolerable, maybe I can finish off the shift. I sat down at the computer to order supplies, then it really started to ache and hurt...and Snowmageddon was supposed to arrive in a few hours.  Could I really finish the shift? I was at a slower station...it was almost 8 at night, we'd more than likely sleep.  BUT Murphy's law clearly states "when planning, or NEEDING a full night's sleep with no calls at the fire station...one will receive a code blue, massive trauma, and patient that weighs more than the entire crew put together." Reality hit...I'd hurt my shoulder.  SO I called the supervisor, took our ambulance out of service and eventually was told to go the ER for treatment.  They did x-rays and gave me some pain meds and I went home.  Luckily, I was "sober" enough post pain meds that I could give my supervisor directions to my apartment...for some reason they didn't want me driving home.  Long story short, SEVERAL months later, I finally got an MRI that showed...you guessed it...another tear in the cartilage...a different spot, but another tear, non-the-less.  As good and experienced as I'm getting at this whole shoulder surgery/rehab thing, I really don't want to make it a habit.  This week, I was faced with a very difficult decision...I ran out of all my benefit time, and short term disability ends on Tueasday.  Do I hold off hope that my shoulder will recover and I'll be able to eventually be able to make it back on the ambulance (meanwhile being on UNpaid leave)...or face the inevitable, and accept long term disability (medical retirement).  LOTS of time on my knees praying, some temple time and many bawl my eyes out sessions later, I made the very difficult decision to medically retire.  My heart wants to be a paramedic.  Unfortunately, my body has other plans.  So, I made the very difficult phone call to benefits at work to discuss the end of my career and we came to the last date of employment.  August 24 is my last day working.  For the next week, I will be working modified duty at Support Services like I have been, and as of August 25, I am a medically retired paramedic.  That has been a HUGE pill to swallow.  I am still in a bit of denial about it.  Luckily, I was blessed with this job from Children's Mercy that works around school...and helps with tuition assistance, I have great friends and family members supporting me, and a temple less than an hour away.  I never would have thought that I'd be retired before 30, and now I face the question...what is the next step in my life? Stay tuned to find out what I learn on THAT journey!