Okay, so good news first. I’ve been cleared by all 5 of my doctors (not to include the 3 clearances I had to get before putting my papers in...so a grand total of 7). I’m pretty sure the endocrinologist is trying to kill me. She had to cancel the appointment I had Friday and reschedule for today (monday). I finally got her clearance yesterday at around 4:30 pm...you know, the day i was scheduled to be set apart as a missionary. My family doctor was funny and in his note, he cleared me to travel to Mexico only, and stated I was “clear of any communicable diseases at this time”. Anyways, I’ve been super stressed trying to get everything packed and ready to go. Lots of prayers and tears. I want nothing more than to be a full time missionary. Saturday, my brother and his wife got to go through the temple for their own endowments. It was a crazy day full of lovely family drama. I had been praying to be prepared to leave on my mission, but didn’t have a “warm fuzzy” feeling about it. Yesterday before church I was still feeling uneasy. I lost it in sunday school, when the lesson was on the Atonement. Ugly cry lost it. Then the answer hit me. Not an answer that I wanted, but an answer. I need to postpone one last time. I’ve run into several tie ups in getting my insurance straightened out with the hospital. My mom is so stressed out dealing with my brother and his wife I can’t leave that for her to do. I would be so worried about it that I wouldn’t be fully committed to serving as a missionary. I want to be able to give 110%, but can’t until I get finances straightened out. The answer devastated me, but I know in my heart it is what I am supposed to do. I’m not sure what is coming in my future that requires all these trials to prepare me, but I know there is a reason. Heavenly Father knows the desires of our hearts and will grant them in HIS time. The last few months have been some of the hardest of my life, and have tested how strong my testimony is. My testimony of the Plan of Salvation has grown more than I thought it could. I have grown to rely on my Savior and Heavenly Father because I couldn’t have done it on my own. I know I will be a missionary soon and I can’t wait. It will mean more to me that it ever has because of what I have had to overcome to get there. Now...to find a place to stay in August as my apartment has already been rented out.