Cancer and Cholera in Kansas

My trip to Haiti was amazing.  I treated a bunch of people and vaccinated more children than I can count. I grew to love the people more than I already had. I was humbled, blessed, and felt privileged for the opportunity.  However, things quickly changed. While on my way to Haiti, i missed my flight. This, however was a blessing in disguise. I was able to get the phone call from my mother that my sister-in-law passed out at work and had a seizure.  In the ER they discovered she had a brain tumor. She would have it removed when I was in Haiti. I continued with  my mission and people were praying for her all over the world. I returned home and spoke in church, then had a little going away gathering.  When I got home, I wasn't feeling well and thought all the travel was catching up to me.  Long story short, one urgent care visit and two er visits later, I was admitted to the hospital of 8 days with cholera. The day I was supposed to be set apart as a missionary, I was in the ER.  I had to make the devastating phone call to my stake president to let him know that after all I had done to get to be a missionary again, I wasn't going to be able to do it. My report date has been moved to July 15 to hopefully allow me enough time to recover. While I was admitted, my sister in law got the confirmation that her brain tumor was cancer.  She will be starting chemo and radiation next week. It’s been a tough couple weeks.  I have barely been able to get out of bed for more than a few hours at a time because I’m still so exhausted.  The cholera leached almost all the water out of my body making me super dehydrated, then it took everything in my body to fight it off.  My adrenal glands practically stopped working, my kidneys were affected as was my immune system, obviously.  At one point they thought there was a blood clot in my lungs and I got to go to NUCLEAR MEDICINE to scan to make sure I was okay.  My body started getting back to normal, so the doctors felt I would recoup better at home.  In my follow up with my family doctor, I found a bunch of my lab levels are still low…which is why I am still exhausted. I was put on several medications and supplements and I’m now taking 23 pills a day for the next 2 weeks and then I will have all my labs retested. My family doctor is optimistic that I will be able to report to the MTC on July 15, as long as I do as he says and stay in bed for the next couple weeks, allowing myself to heal. I see all of the specialists on June 30 to get their opinion. I have to be cleared by endocrinology, neurology, and infectious disease…for some reason, they don’t want to let me into the MTC if I still have cholera in me. I don’t understand why? ;). It’s been tough.  I have had several times where I can’t fight the tears back any longer. I’ve come so far and gotten so close to my mission I can almost taste it! I’ve had moments when I’ve considered “maybe this is Heavenly Father telling you that you need to stay home”…but I can’t accept that when I still have this extreme desire to serve and feel a special love for the people of Seattle.  Every time I think about my mission, I know it’s the right thing to do…I just keep running into these hurdles.  I’ve learned a lot about the Atonement.  I’ve been super worried about how my brother will handle seeing his wife fight for her life, and possible lose it. I tear up when I think about his pain, but I’m an imperfect person.  Our Savior, who is perfect, feels that way about all of us when we are going through our struggles.  He’s right next to me crying in the tough times, whispering to me “when you get through this, you’ll have learned so much and grown more than you could have even imagined.” I’m grateful for that knowledge and my experiences make me want to go on a mission even more.  So I can find those who are crying and struggling to just make it through life, and teach them that there is someone there to help them and comfort them.  In my farewell talk at church, I mentioned that Christ is there for those moments in life that have “no words”. No words that anyone says can comfort you. There are moments when there are no words to describe the joy or sorrow you are feeling.  Christ is there in those moments.  He is there when there are no words, and He speaks to your heart. He can comfort you when there are no words. He rejoices with you when you are so excited you can’t explain it.  He silently comforts you when you are crying and just need the support. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He provided that for us.  He allowed for His son to go through everything, so that there is someone there for us in our moments of life “without words”.