PT Update

So, my last appt at PT wasn't AS bad as the one before...meaning I wasn't crying. Granted, this could be because I saw the physical therapy assistant, not the actual physical therapist. AND the physical therapy assistant said she would "go easy on me" because my arm had been throbbing the entire time since the previous appt (i.e. the appt from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks) Anyways, they called my ortho doc to see about possible getting a muscle relaxant. Basically, they aren't able to "stretch my arm to it's full capacity" because my arm is stubborn and the muscles spasm out before the therapists can get to the "frozen" point of my shoulder. Basically, they can't determine if my shoulder is actually "frozen" because the muscles spasm before the physical therapist can feel the "frozen" point. Meaning, they don't know if surgery would actually be beneficial to "break up the scar tissue" because they can't determine if the scar tissue is what's causing the delay in progression. Leave it to me to do things the unconventional way. ANYWAYS, the surgeon said he doesn't want to give me any muscle relaxants or pain meds (what the physical therapists were recommending) until he (the surgeon) actually sees me at my follow-up appointment. Ugh, looks like I have 4 more PT appointments (including 1 today, and 3 next week) before we find out any new news. My follow-up appointment is on Jan 8th. Hopefully we'll be able to figure out what is causing my arm to be so stubborn, and alter my treatment plan accordingly. All I can say is whoever invented the heating pad is a God send!

Sorry for the negativity

Okay, I am going to vent a little bit. Sorry for all the negativity, but I'm just frustrated. Since I started PT, I have been in more pain than I've experienced since right after the surgery. My orthopedic surgeon told me on my first visit with him to stop taking any of my prescription pain meds, and just take 2 Aleve twice a day to keep the inflammation down. Yesterday, though, I almost lost it. I was in PT and I had chatted with the therapist about how I've been having lots of spasms since starting PT. She replied with 'it shouldn't be doing that this long after surgery,' which was really comforting. Then we proceeded with the rest of the PT session. She decided she wanted to see if I had any more motion then when she saw me when I first started PT. I explained to her the pain that I get once my arm gets to a certain point. Well, she just kept pulling/twisting/whatever other form of torture she was doing at the time. I would tell her, "that hurts, it feels like something is going to snap" and I showed her where. I have one spot that is the biggest trouble maker. Well, she would dig her finger into that spot, which would shoot pain from my shoulder down to my elbow, and keep moving my arm. Now you have to understand, I very rarely cry when I'm in physical pain. Yesterday, she had me to the point of tears several times. I actually cried in PT because it hurt so bad. I know there is a certain amount of pain associated with PT, but when the patient is crying, you would think that's a good point to stop and rest for a second. I kept telling her, all I needed was maybe a 30 second break where the muscles could rest. I mean my arm was shaking it was so fatigued. You know that running after you've ran to long where your legs are like jello and you feel like they are going to give at any moment? At the end of the session (which was supposed to be 1.5-2 hours and ended up being a little over 3!) she had the nerve to say "well your shoulder moved a little farther than it did the last time I saw you." I wanted to yell "well yeah it did, last time you stopped before the tears came."I'm very frustrated because I can't get a straight answer from anyone. I just want to start seeing progress. I've been in PT for over 2 weeks now and I can't notice any difference, unless you count the fact that the muscles from my elbow to my neck are completely knotted, I have muscle spasms at random times during every day, whether I've had PT or not, and I'm in a lot more pain than I have been since surgery-and getting less sleep because it keeps waking me up. Well, with her seeing and documenting "a little progress" in my movement, I'm afraid that the orthopedic surgeon will want me to just continue PT. Despite what the last year of my life looks like, I really don't LIKE or SEEK OUT reasons to have surgery. But now, I am really leaning towards them knocking me out and just ripping all the scar tissue loose that way. Is that irrational of me? Right now, PT is like when you taking a bandaid off one hair at a time. Surgery would be like just ripping the bandaid off-it'll hurt more initially, but everything will be loose and I can finally start progressing. I'm just scared now that the surgeon will see "progress" on the physical therapist's notes and want to stick with PT longer, but that report will probably not mention the fact that it was the therapist just deciding to just torture me instead of stopping when I told her it hurt like she did when she measured the first time. That's what PT is like right now...sheer torture. How do I explain this to the doctor without sounding like a wuss that's too lazy/doesn't want PT and is just looking for a shortcut. I would love to be able to get this fixed without surgery, but I just don't see any significant progress happening anytime in the near future with the rate we're going in PT. Any suggestions?

I read this story and laughed, because I think this is almost the point that I have reached with my ortho doc:
"A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good either. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."But Doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia.""I know," said the physician, "I can cure pneumonia!"

Soooo...wazzup real world?

Apparently, my sister won't update my blog now that I'm home...Home? You may ask. Just in case you haven't heard, hear is the scoop...as mentioned in my sister's update, I had to have surgery on my shoulder while in the MTC. Well, they had me recovering there in the sick-bay at the MTC clinic. That's where you put a post-op asthmatic...in the sick bay, right? One week before my follow-up with the surgeon, I came down with an upper respiratory infection, for which I went and saw the MTC doctor, who then decided that I need to come home...many more detail on my feelings of that decision, but hey, it's the Christmas season, right? Who needs to think about that? So, needless to say, I'm home (technically "released" from full-time missionary status, but kind of put in time-out, with hopes that I will be able to return after all the torture...I mean healing.) Well, in the process of sending me home (the post-op asthmatic with an upper respiratory infection, who is now being placed on an airplane), I managed to catch an infection in the arm that I had surgery on. This managed to be a blessing in disguise...no orthopedic surgeon here wanted to take me on as a patient without having done the surgery, an understandable concern...what with liability and crap. Well, the infection managed to get me to the ER, where the ER doc consulted with an ortho surgeon, who then had to take me on as a patient. I have to admit, I was VERY glad about being home by this point, because the ER staff know me and I haven't ticked any of them off, so the nurses kept my blood level of morphine at a very acceptable level. Anyways, my PT had to be postponed due to the infection. I had my follow-up with the ortho here, who told me that because PT was postponed so long, I have developed "frozen shoulder" on top of needing PT for post-op recovery. Basically, being 23 years old bit me in the butt (or shoulder) and caused the scar tissue to form nice and strong, quickly...however, it's not quite where it needs to be, and the scar tissue is so tightly formed, my shoulder doesn't want to move...and no one can make it. Last Wed, I had my first PT appt (i.e. H-E-Double Hockey Sticks). They are trying to break up the scar tissue with hopes of avoiding the alternative:I get to go back into surgery where the ortho will "manipulate my shoulder and break up the scar tissue himself." After 4 PT visits this is the analogy that I've drawn: PT is breaking the scar tissue up one fiber at a time, kind of like pulling a band-aid off one hair at a time. The surgery just rips it all apart at once...like ripping the band-aid off-it hurts A LOT more initially, but gets the job done faster. At least that's the way I understand it. I think I get 2 more visits before the physical therapists decide if they are "satisfied" with how I'm "progressing." If the ortho does have to go in and "break it up himself" then I get to go to PT 5 days a week for 4 weeks after...YAY!!! Anyways, I'm slowly getting settled home...and getting used to the fact that I am no longer a missionary. It's definitely wierd being home for Christmas after planning on missing 2 of them, but it's nice to see the tree up and to be honest...presents! This has definitely been a "different" holiday season than I initially planned, but if there is one thing I learned at the MTC, it's that God knows what He has in store for you and He know MUCH better what you need than you do, so just trust in Him, roll with the punches (or surgeries), and eventually, it will all work out the way it needs to be.

¡Feliz Navidad!