Part dos-Back to work after the mish

So, after blurting out to the chief that I wanted to come back to work, I almost didn't get the job.  A new hiring process just HAPPENED to start the next week. The invitation to interview came via e-mail and went to my junk mail folder.  Luckily, someone called me to say "we haven't gotten your application yet".  Needless to say, I applied, went through the process, and got hired back again. I was at home!  I LOVE being a paramedic.  I jumped right back in where I had left and was working with Dan McManigal, who would prove to be a very good friend and a big brother to me. I occasionally had the inkling that I wanted to go back on my mission, but was easily able to push that aside with how much I was loving life and what I was doing. Eventually, I had to have my right shoulder repaired again in Jan 2012, possibly a tear that hadn't been repaired and had been there since the first surgery.  A short (but LOOOONG) six months later, I was back at it.  Loving life and loving my job. Doing PR events right and left, working football games, doing my dream job while going back to school in preparation for my goal of eventually going to medical school.  I was at a school that had amazing teachers and a GREAT science program, despite an advisor that thought I was a peon because I wasn't a 4.0 right out of high school student.  Then February 20, 2013 happened and my career ended.  I was HEARTBROKEN.  However, I had an amazing relationship with a long-time friend, and we were planning on getting married later that year.  Then that ended and I was left heart broken.  Still in school, working a job that wasn't ANYTHING like the one I loved (dispatching...staring at a screen for 12 hours at a time, sending others out to do the job that I loved...having NO patient care whatsoever). I needed a change.  I wasn't enjoying school (thank you Organic Chemistry), I wasn't enjoying work, I didn't trust relationships...there was something missing and I had no idea what.  I was in a spiritual funk, feeling like there was something I was supposed to be doing, but having NO IDEA what that was. My life had been turned upside down so many times in such a short period that I had a hard time trusting my intuition...or trusting that those were promptings from God. How could a God that loved me so much let SO much tragedy happen in such a short amount of time with what seemed like no relief? (To be continued again...I have a lot to say. I haven't blogged in a REALLY long time and this is replacing my journal right now...deal with it ;) )