Merry Christmas to everyone and Happy New Year!  I love this time of year when we celebrate our Savior's birth. I love the music and the Church has some great videos that you might enjoy.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2011-10-067-the-nativity?category=bible-videos-the-life-of-jesus-christ&lang=eng

https://www.mormon.org/christmas?cid=HP_SU_11-29-2015_dMIS_fSPC_xLIDyL1-A_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly7c9scxB9I&list=PLq9T3v5R_q8s3PKfpND5SOh3lUZolLDMf&index=5&cid=HP_FR_12-18-2015_dMIS_fYT_xLIDyI-1_


I want to share a little miracle. Recently, I was at the Member and Missionary Fireside, I was able to watch the ASL Elders interpreting. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that I still understood a lot of it. I studied ASL for 4 semesters in college, but chose to go through the paramedic program (that was paid for) instead of going through the interpreter program. When one of the Spanish speakers (not from my area) was bearing her testimony, I had to remind myself that I was called to the Spanish language and I needed to focus on that. I love both cultures so much! As I was leading the music at Zone Conference, I got to see the Elders interpret again. It got me thinking about ASL and trying to remember words. Once again, I reminded myself that I need to focus on Spanish (don't worry, I was only thinking about ASL during breaks and down time, I am fully committed to Spanish in all of my studies). ASL just kept popping into my head. I prayed several times for help. Then yesterday happened. We went to visit one of our former investigators, but she wasn't home. We met three young men from Africa in the parking lot and shared a brief message with them. As we were talking about their religious beliefs, I noticed that one of them wasn't speaking or participating in the conversation at all. I asked him where he was from, and one of the other young men replied "oh, he's deaf". I knew why my ASL had been "brought to my remembrance" so many times this week. I was able to briefly chat with this young man, then we were on our way. Yesterday, several times, we were unable to find the person we had planned to find, but every time there was someone else in the area that we were able to teach. I was so grateful that I was able to share a tiny bit of God's love with that young man. Like I said before...not of our experiences in life are "coincidences". We need to involve Heavenly Father in our plans so he can place us where we need to be to find the people he has placed there to learn. Yesterday just solidified even more that we have a loving Heavenly Father that is control of all. We just need to let go of the "control" we think we have and let Him work through us.

Sometimes the work is interesting. One person we approached to someone to teach, he announced "I don't want to talk to you because I'm not a Mormon and you're too friendly".  How do you respond to that? While I have been in Washington I've met people who speak Russian, Italian, Chinese, Farsi, ASL (American Sign Language) and of course Spanish. It's never boring.

From November 2, 2015-Happy Halloween

L to R: Hermana Brooks dressed as Hermana Hargis, Branch President Mayorga and his wife, Hermana Hargis dressed as Hermana Brooks

This week definitely had it's ups and downs! This weekend was full of miracles. At our branch Halloween party on Friday night, there were almost as many non-members as there were members. We had a part member (where the member is inactive) family come to the event and several less actives. There were so many people to meet and visit with we barely had enough time!

 

Halloween was the first day in the field so far that I was really frustrated and it was a struggle to stay positive. We had a normal morning of personal study, companion study, training, language study and lunch, and we left at the normal time of 1pm. We had to stay in after 5 pm because of the trick or treaters. So, we only had a couple hours to be out. We did manage to get Kit-Kats and Smarties (two of our favorite candies) from people when we were knocking who just thought trick or treaters were starting early.  We only talked to two people that day and both were members. In praying for help and studying/thinking about it I came to realize that those two people were important and we made a huge impact in their day. Hermana Brooks and I try to keep from getting frustrated when our numbers don't reflect just how hard we worked that day. We remind ourselves that numbers aren't everything and keep our eye on the positive. There are miracles in every day.

Narciso has been one of our miracles. We had just finished finding on one street and were leaving the complex when we ran into Narciso in the parking lot. He moved to the area a month ago and told us "no one has invited me to church yet". Don't you worry, we did! He invited us back to teach him and gave us his address. We went back a couple days later, but that wasn't his address. Again, as we were leaving the complex, Narciso came around the corner in his car, stopped, and told us he wanted us to teach him. We had to go to coordination meeting, but asked if we could come back after with a member of the ward. We were able to bring the Elder's Quorum president with us and had a great lesson on the Restoration.  I even shared the Joseph Smith story and First Vision in Spanish. He felt the spirit and wants to study it out in his mind and learn more. He came to the Halloween party!

At our Spanish Member and Missionary Fireside (only have them in Spanish once a year) almost all of the active members of our ward came to support the people sharing their testimonies: Evaline and Cristhian Chavez, who got baptized along with their son in July; and Victor who married an RM, but recently got to go through the temple for the first time. I had said hi to all the branch members beforehand, and saw a family that had a little less pigment that others there...it was the Bishops!!!! It was so good to see a familiar face! You could feel the spirit so strong at the fireside, it was a great way to end the week.

Diedre Bishop and daughter, transplants from Kansas.  It was great to see a familiar face!

 

I love the work and even in the discouraging times, I know that I am here at this time for a reason.

 

Till next time,

Hermana Hargis

From October 26, 2015

Spanish Speaking Missionaries at Conferencia Hispana

Our big event of the week was the "Conferencia Hispana" on Saturday.It was a state wide even held in our stake center. Hispanics and Latinos from all over the state came, had temple sessions, there was a fireside, and dinner, followed by a talent show where various wards performed dances and other talents from different countries. It was a BLAST!!!!! Although, I'm getting a little confused at what Mexican food really is...Friday night at Volleyball, the branch brought pizza, donuts, macaroni and cheese, and pretzels. Then the dinner at the cultural even was fried chicken and potato salad...

I have been asked to give a talk on November 15. I think it's kind of funny because I will be the "youth speaker". I've had a cold this week which has made tracting fun. It's not the most spritual message when you sneeze and hack up a lung mid sentence, but Hermana Brooks has been awesome at finishing my thought when it happens. I'm feeling a ton better, and I was blessed with the energy to still do everything we had planned, even though I was sick. God definitely blesses His missionaries.

 Spiritual thought to get you through the week: "A loving Heavenly Father has plotted our course and provided an unfailing guide-even obedience. A knowledge of truth and the answers to our greatest questions come to us as we are obedient to the commandments of God"-President Monson. God has a plan for each and every one of us. In order to stay on that path, all we have to do is obey His commandments.

Os amo!

Hermana Hargis

From October 19, 2015

Friday we had exchanges with the Sister Training Leaders. I was paired with Sister Sim who is from South Korea and speaks NO spanish. The first 6 doors we knocked answered!!!! And 4 of them spoke Spanish, so I got to practice my door approaches and 2 of them want to hear more.

Our very first door was a hispanic man that answered. He said he had just gotten home from work and was eating dinner and really hungry. He kept trying to leave, but Sister Sim was persistant to the point that he was starting to get angry. We wished him a nice meal and moved on.

 

Several doors later, we met this lady named Evonne in the stairwell on her way back from doing laundry. We taught her about the restoration and she wants us to come back and teach her and her family. I asked for her apartment number and it was the one with the hungry man!!!!! That will be fun!

 

Our mission does something pretty cool here. Every month, they have a Missionary and Member Fireside. People that have been recently baptized share there testimony, there are a few special musical numbers and the mission president and stake president that's hosting it that month give a few comments. It was REALLY cool!!!!! One of Hermana Brooks previous investigators bore testimony. He was one that told them the government was putting fluoride in the water to docilize our minds. One man found the church by an online dating site where a woman listed "devout Mormon" under her profile. He asked her what it took to date a Mormon. They got married a few months ago and her son baptized him the day he got home from his mission. Maybe President Schofield will let us all spend time on dating sites to find new investigators? I know we will find someone that is ready, it's just taking a LOT of effort to find them. We can feel that it's close, we just have to rely on the Lord to guide us. 

 

Interesting person of the week...Wesley. We found him while street contacting on our way home. We asked if we could share a message and he said only if he could teach us about aliens. So we agreed. He taught us that aliens are just trying to protect us from ourselves. They are really nice. All information regarding aliens was supposed to be made known this year, but the big minds of USA and Russia "with the red buttons" are keeping it quiet. I love being a missionary!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally in Washington

Update from Caitlin:

I've been assigned to the Crossroads Spanish Branch, which is in Bellevue, WA.  My trainer is Hermana Brooks and I LOVE her!

Our apartment is interesting.  Missionaries haven't lived in this apartment before us.  We walked in and the smell was overwhelming, and familiar.  Being a former paramedic I have been exposed to all kinds of smells, and I swear there was a dead body in this apartment before we moved in!  A can of Fabreeze later it began to smell better.  In order to open the oven door all the way you have to remove the door knob from the cabinet.  Interesting times :)

My first time knocking on doors was also extremely eventful. To sum up the experience, these next three people were consecutive doors that I knocked. Apparently I have a talent for choosing "special" doors. The first one was a teenaged asian boy that told us that he had prophesied of a dragon descending in a ball of fire and a few other things. We did not make a follow-up appointment with him. The next door was officially my first whiff of marijuana in this lovely state. The man that answered was extremely happy, but not quite there. We couldn't stop laughing after that...maybe we inhaled a little too much. THEN, the third door...the guy answered but just peeked his head out the door and was extremely out of breath and said he was "in the middle of something"...pretty sure he was naked behind that door. We left extremely quickly. We did NOT try to give him a pamphlet. Hermana Brooks knocked the next several doors.

Okay, now a little about our branch. After meeting with the mission leader and the branch president, we realized we have our work cut out for us. About half of the ward is either inactive or less active. Hermana Brooks and I were getting a little frustrated about not being able to find any new investigators, but we had the thought "if the branch can't keep any of their established members, why would God send us any new ones?" so we are working really hard on bringing those people back to church. Funny story...when we met with the branch president the first time, he gave us this candy from Columbia (where he's from). It was rolled in coconut so I was super excited! It was amazing...until the coconut went away and you were left with this toffee like substance that kind of tasted like a mix of chocolate, coffee and soap. I still don't know how I feel about them, but we have to eat one each time we see him. Maybe they will grow on me and I'll like them by the time I'm transferred.

 

I LOVE the members here. The member work is my favorite thing. Finding new people is a little frustrating, but I know it will be worth it. We are in the same ward as our district leaders, so we are splitting the work a little bit. Several times this week, members said how excited they were to have sister missionaries back in the ward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





From the week of September 17th:

Caitlin's Mom again.  She is half way through her training in Mexico City.  She is now on independent study which let's her progress more quickly than some of the other missionaries who are struggling with the language. She has also been called to be "Zone Mom" which includes monitoring study time when there isn't a teacher.  Once or twice an hour she makes the rounds of the 4 classrooms and ensures they are actually studying.  She reports she has an effective "Mom look".  Good to know I've taught her something!  Funny quote from one of the district leaders "You have one and a half times the life experience of us, you should go scold them." Elder McLane.

On 9/11 her district held a prayer meeting for military/fire/police/EMS.  They all wore red, white and blue.  For Caitlin and one other who had been in the Air Force this was a very emotional time.  Following 9/11 the Mexico City Temple was rededicated and they had the big cultural celebration. Caitlin really enjoyed the experience:

"It was so cool to watch the Latino's excitement during the broadcast.  It was all about the history of the first missionaries and members in Mexico City and the history behind getting a temple.  The Latino's were beaming with pride during the music and dance....the dancing and dresses were beautiful.  No matter what your nationality or culture, we can ALL celebrate our belief in Christ.  We ALL understand and need the miracles that only He can bring into our lives."

Following the temple dedication was Mexican Independence Day.  The missionaries celebrated with Mexican Dulce (candy) and one of the teachers made them Mexican flags to attach to their nametags.  They had a devotional that night and afterwards were told to go straight to their houses and not to leave.  In prior years there had been celebrations which included shooting guns straight up into the air and they had found bullets in the roofs. Definitely not what a Mom wants to hear! They were also able to spend an afternoon at the Visitor's Center learning about the culture and the Church.

Her emails are full of the excitement she feels in preparing to do the work she feels called to do.  In closing something she shared to think about:

 "Am I closer to the Savior today than I was yesterday? Will I be better tomorrow?

Studying

Celebrating Mexican Independence Day

Mexico City Temple

Angle Moroni holding golden plates

At the Visitor's Center

Friends from the Cultural Celebration and food time buddies.

From the Week of September 10^th.

I'm wearing a brown and green argyle sweater with a pink and white polka dot rain coat, and I didn't even care. 

This is Caitlin's mom and this is how she summed up her second week in the missionary training center in Mexico City. She is beginning to discover the difference between being 19 and a more mature 29.  She is learning patience, (she's not sure any of them have ever had to sit still more than 2 hours at a time) but she loves them all. She has also discovered that her years as a paramedic has prepared her for the chaos of a cafeteria full of teenagers.  One of the missionaries choked on a pancake and another performed the Heimlich, it was utter chaos and drama. They asked her how she could be so calm?   I can hear Caitlin thinking, "If he can still talk, he's still breathing". On another note she reported she learned how to say "Me caí la cama en la mañana” which means "I fell out of my bed this morning.  Need I say anything more?

For a service project they helped make rice pudding and cookies in the kitchen.  Caitlin got to talk with the employees and understood almost everything they said.  She said the language is coming back fast and she is very grateful. She is helping one of the worker’s with English.

In closing Caitlin says: “The work is coming slowly but surely. Frustrations happen, but we can learn from them.  The power of prayer and my knowledge of the Atonement is what gets me through each day.” She is loving the opportunity to learn and prepare to teach the gospel. 

Finally, she shared a couple of pictures (they have really big moths in Mexico City).

 

Hi, this is Caitlin’s Mom and she asked me to update her blog.  Wish me luck!

Caitlin made it to Mexico City on August 26^th  and was immediately immersed in the culture and the language as well as surrounded by a lot of 19 year-old missionaries, many of whom are away from home for the first time.  She has become the “madre (mother)” of the district, because anytime someone needs something she pulls it out of her purse, Band-Aids, scissors, sticky notes, you name it she has it. 

Her travel to Mexico City was typical Caitlin, At 4:15 am  the morning she was to leave I found her throwing up.  Ugh, you've got to be kidding!  Trooper that she is, it was determined she didn't have a fever, so with a bottle of water, anti-nausea medication and a "barf" bag off  to the airport we went. She had survived cholera, she wasn't going to let a little nausea stop her. So after delaying the start of her mission twice, she finally made it to Mexico City.  The pictures below are from her first week in Mexico City.

Caitlin at KCI airport at 5:30 am and she's smiling.  If you know Caitlin, she's not a morning person

Missionaries at Mexico City Airport with all their luggage waiting for the bus to the MTC

Caitlin with her companion Hermana Kneip

Caitlin and her "district"

Living quarters for the next six weeks

Yes, she has bottled water.  They must have known she was coming.

The fence around the training center and their living quarters

Okay, so good news first. I’ve been cleared by all 5 of my doctors (not to include the 3 clearances I had to get before putting my papers in...so a grand total of 7). I’m pretty sure the endocrinologist is trying to kill me. She had to cancel the appointment I had Friday and reschedule for today (monday). I finally got her clearance yesterday at around 4:30 pm...you know, the day i was scheduled to be set apart as a missionary. My family doctor was funny and in his note, he cleared me to travel to Mexico only, and stated I was “clear of any communicable diseases at this time”. Anyways, I’ve been super stressed trying to get everything packed and ready to go. Lots of prayers and tears. I want nothing more than to be a full time missionary. Saturday, my brother and his wife got to go through the temple for their own endowments. It was a crazy day full of lovely family drama. I had been praying to be prepared to leave on my mission, but didn’t have a “warm fuzzy” feeling about it. Yesterday before church I was still feeling uneasy. I lost it in sunday school, when the lesson was on the Atonement. Ugly cry lost it. Then the answer hit me. Not an answer that I wanted, but an answer. I need to postpone one last time. I’ve run into several tie ups in getting my insurance straightened out with the hospital. My mom is so stressed out dealing with my brother and his wife I can’t leave that for her to do. I would be so worried about it that I wouldn’t be fully committed to serving as a missionary. I want to be able to give 110%, but can’t until I get finances straightened out. The answer devastated me, but I know in my heart it is what I am supposed to do. I’m not sure what is coming in my future that requires all these trials to prepare me, but I know there is a reason. Heavenly Father knows the desires of our hearts and will grant them in HIS time. The last few months have been some of the hardest of my life, and have tested how strong my testimony is. My testimony of the Plan of Salvation has grown more than I thought it could. I have grown to rely on my Savior and Heavenly Father because I couldn’t have done it on my own. I know I will be a missionary soon and I can’t wait. It will mean more to me that it ever has because of what I have had to overcome to get there. Now...to find a place to stay in August as my apartment has already been rented out.

Getting Closer

Yesterday was  day of many emotions.  It was the day of all of my appointments with the specialists. The night before I was almost full blown freaking out. Those specialists are the ones that determine if I can leave on July 15 as needed. I was chatting with my sister in law, who was also on the verge of losing it. We were bawling together and she said. “I think I need another priesthood blessing…you should get one too”. Why am I so dumb with things like this? These thoughts never come to me. Why do we try to get through trials on our own. That’s just stupid!!! Our Heavenly Father gives us all the resources we need to get through trials, we just have to use them. Anyways…infectious disease has cleared me, my kidneys are working fine again, endocrinology was the one of the hiccups. The endocrinologists and neurologists are in the same office.  When I was discharged from the hospital they told me I would be seeing both at my appointment. WRONG. I saw the endocrinologist who wants an MRI of my pituitary gland before she’ll clear me. She also still wants me to see the neurologist…who is going to want an MRI of the rest of my brain. Well, after I’m done at my appointment, I go to the front desk to schedule the neurology appointment and they tell me the first opening is in August. I’m telling you it took ALL of my power to not break down there in the waiting room. August?!?!?!?! But I’m supposed to leave in two weeks? I was crushed. Well, per their policy, you have to call a specific person who schedules the new patient appointments. I left the office, gathered my wits and strength to drive home, all the while trying to figure out how I”m going break this news to everyone. I decided not to worry until it’s July 15 and I’m not released. God works miracles everyday, right? Well I called to schedule the appointment, and between the waiting room and the parking lot, there had been a cancellation and I got an appointment on July 10!!!! God really does answer prayers…even if they’re silent prayers we’re saying in an elevator full of people. The next hurdle was I needed an MRI of my brain, but the neurologist couldn’t order one until he saw me. I called to explain the time crunch I was in and I was transferred to the neurologist's nurse. He said that it would just make sense to do both MRI's at the same time and that I should check with the endocrinologist's nurse who schedules them...and he transferred me to her. I'm pretty sure I spoke with every single person that works in this office. LUCKILY the office was able to get the endocrinologist (who I already saw) to order both!!! Now I just need my insurance to pre-authorize the MRI and get an appointment before July 10. I can do this!!! That has been my mantra lately. I can do this. You know the saying “God never gives us more than we can handle”? I think that is completely false. God does give us more than we can handle…alone, but He has provided a Savior to make up the rest. I’m slowly building up my strength to be ready to FINALLY get to the mission. The stake president told me I need a note from the doctor, a note from myself, and he has to send a note to the mission department. I think my letter will say something like “I’m REALLY ready to go to the mission, and I promise to NEVER go to a third world country until AFTER my mission”. I am grateful for the support this church brings. Last night I had a much needed break and talked for a few hours with a sister from church that had come home early from her mission for medical reasons. We both talked about our missions and you would have never known it wasn't a full mission. We were able to just talk and laugh and it was amazing! (and a little exhausting once we realized it was almost 10pm. Friends are key to getting through this life. I have some of the best there is!

Cancer and Cholera in Kansas

My trip to Haiti was amazing.  I treated a bunch of people and vaccinated more children than I can count. I grew to love the people more than I already had. I was humbled, blessed, and felt privileged for the opportunity.  However, things quickly changed. While on my way to Haiti, i missed my flight. This, however was a blessing in disguise. I was able to get the phone call from my mother that my sister-in-law passed out at work and had a seizure.  In the ER they discovered she had a brain tumor. She would have it removed when I was in Haiti. I continued with  my mission and people were praying for her all over the world. I returned home and spoke in church, then had a little going away gathering.  When I got home, I wasn't feeling well and thought all the travel was catching up to me.  Long story short, one urgent care visit and two er visits later, I was admitted to the hospital of 8 days with cholera. The day I was supposed to be set apart as a missionary, I was in the ER.  I had to make the devastating phone call to my stake president to let him know that after all I had done to get to be a missionary again, I wasn't going to be able to do it. My report date has been moved to July 15 to hopefully allow me enough time to recover. While I was admitted, my sister in law got the confirmation that her brain tumor was cancer.  She will be starting chemo and radiation next week. It’s been a tough couple weeks.  I have barely been able to get out of bed for more than a few hours at a time because I’m still so exhausted.  The cholera leached almost all the water out of my body making me super dehydrated, then it took everything in my body to fight it off.  My adrenal glands practically stopped working, my kidneys were affected as was my immune system, obviously.  At one point they thought there was a blood clot in my lungs and I got to go to NUCLEAR MEDICINE to scan to make sure I was okay.  My body started getting back to normal, so the doctors felt I would recoup better at home.  In my follow up with my family doctor, I found a bunch of my lab levels are still low…which is why I am still exhausted. I was put on several medications and supplements and I’m now taking 23 pills a day for the next 2 weeks and then I will have all my labs retested. My family doctor is optimistic that I will be able to report to the MTC on July 15, as long as I do as he says and stay in bed for the next couple weeks, allowing myself to heal. I see all of the specialists on June 30 to get their opinion. I have to be cleared by endocrinology, neurology, and infectious disease…for some reason, they don’t want to let me into the MTC if I still have cholera in me. I don’t understand why? ;). It’s been tough.  I have had several times where I can’t fight the tears back any longer. I’ve come so far and gotten so close to my mission I can almost taste it! I’ve had moments when I’ve considered “maybe this is Heavenly Father telling you that you need to stay home”…but I can’t accept that when I still have this extreme desire to serve and feel a special love for the people of Seattle.  Every time I think about my mission, I know it’s the right thing to do…I just keep running into these hurdles.  I’ve learned a lot about the Atonement.  I’ve been super worried about how my brother will handle seeing his wife fight for her life, and possible lose it. I tear up when I think about his pain, but I’m an imperfect person.  Our Savior, who is perfect, feels that way about all of us when we are going through our struggles.  He’s right next to me crying in the tough times, whispering to me “when you get through this, you’ll have learned so much and grown more than you could have even imagined.” I’m grateful for that knowledge and my experiences make me want to go on a mission even more.  So I can find those who are crying and struggling to just make it through life, and teach them that there is someone there to help them and comfort them.  In my farewell talk at church, I mentioned that Christ is there for those moments in life that have “no words”. No words that anyone says can comfort you. There are moments when there are no words to describe the joy or sorrow you are feeling.  Christ is there in those moments.  He is there when there are no words, and He speaks to your heart. He can comfort you when there are no words. He rejoices with you when you are so excited you can’t explain it.  He silently comforts you when you are crying and just need the support. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He provided that for us.  He allowed for His son to go through everything, so that there is someone there for us in our moments of life “without words”.

Mission President

Sooo...the first time I was in the MTC, our first weekend was General Conference.  There was one talk that I loved. It was given by a member of the seventy named Yoon Hwan Choi. It was about a loud bunch of teenage boys and the impact they made. Well, I got my letter from my mission president and who is it? Yoon Hwan Choi!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I was so excited! Then I got my mission packet today, and unfortunately, he finishes his time as a mission president while I am in the MTC.  I will have a new mission president, but still I consider this one of those tender mercies that Heavenly Father gives us to confirm that what we are doing is right. Here is a link to the talk.  I still LOVE it.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/i-love-loud-boys?lang=eng

The Call...part two

Again, I do NOTHING the normal/easy way...here's my journal entry from 3/20/15
So President Priday told me my report date will be June 3...still weird to me considering my availability wasn't until June 15. I am SOOOOOOOOO excited, especially once I realized that I only have 53 days left at my job. I report in 74 days!!!!!!!!!!! Holy cow, I'll only have 3 days between getting home from Haiti and leaving for the MTC. President Priday told me they still don't know which MTC I'm going to, and that I probably won't know until May. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! The anticipation is killing me!!! I could go to Provo (which would be nice because I've been there and know how it works) or Mexico City (which would be awesome because it's a whole new country and would be a GREAT way to learn Spanish). It's official...I'm going on a mission...to Seattle...Spanish Speaking. I feel complete!!!

The Call

From the Journal of Caitlin Hargis:

3/10/15

Okay, so it's been a little over FOUR WEEKS since my papers went in. As in one month...as in two weeks less than the longest time frame to get a mission call. I was a little bummed that I didn't get my call before coming to California. Courtney was checking my mail and still nothing. Today I had two missed calls from a Kansas number, and a voice mail that didn't have anything on it. THEN I got a text from that number that said "Please call. Thanks! Pres. Priday" WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I was thinking "crap, something went wrong and they aren't going to let me go" or I needed more documentation, etc...i.e. STILL having to wait a while to get my mission call. I was at the post office with my nieces and nephew when I got the text. I went into the car (with kids there) and called him. He said he got a call from the mission department today. Generally, once someone has been home over a year, they go through the whole process again and can be sent anywhere. Let alone being home over five years!!!!! He then told me he had my mission call and asked me if I wanted him to tell me...what am I going to say? "No"? So I said absolutely. He then went to say "this never happens." But when the apostle reviewed my application, he felt strongly that I should go to my original mission...Seattle Spanish speaking! President Priday said "there must be someone, or a group of people there that really need you". This is so rare, you can rest assured that the Lord is behind this and Seattle is definitely where you need to be. You've been called there on two seperate occasions. When I asked about when I leave, he said 'there's a bit of flexibility'. They need you as soon as you can leave. Tomorrow is the first opening. Seeing as how I have three kids through the end of the week, that was out of the question. My availability date was in June...so this took me COMPLETELY off guard. I am in two online classes, need to sell my car and my lease isn't up until June. I still need to get some money together to pay off a couple bills. So he's going to give me a few options of dates and I'll see as soon as I can get everything together!!!! Prayers that I can get the money together quickly and get everything settled. It's kind of like mission calls in the early history: this is where you're going, now leave tomorrow! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may or may not have been praying for this mission call. I've felt a connection with Seattle since the first time I was called there. In my prayers I said so, with the caveat of "thy will not mine". Now to tell my family.

The Mission Application

In case you haven't realized, I have lost the ability to do anything normal...and nothing happens easily in my life. To quote a former classmate "if you had any luck, it would be bad luck...don't sit so close to me, I may catch it". The day I was going to talk to my bishop, I was running late to church. Jacob Squire who I grew up with (and babysat), who was getting ready for his own mission, was running late as well.  We both walked in during the opening song, sat down and looked at the stand...the ENTIRE Stake Presidency was there...along with a couple families (which is weird because it was the Single Adult congregation).  What a great time to come in late. Side note-Jacob said "I always come late, so they just expect it from me" to which I replied "I work so many Sundays, they're just glad to see me actually come". Back to the meeting...we realized that the bishopric was changing, then started placing unofficial bets (because no gambling allowed in church) on what was happening.  Our Bishop was released and Bishop Morris was called. It was like I was in my family ward again.  Then it hit me...both the first time and this time, my mission papers would go through a Bishop Morris...kind of a cool connection.  ANYWAYS, he was sustained that Sunday, I decided to wait to start my papers until he'd been a bishop for at least an hour, the next Sunday was General Conference, then the Sunday after that I got a text asking if I would meet with him.  He was getting to know the members of the ward.  At the end of our meeting, he asked "is there anything I can do for you".  "Why yes there is!!!!" And my papers began...with the caveat I made...I wanted to keep it a surprise until I had my call. I wasn't even telling my family.  I wanted it to be just me and the few people that needed to know.  I wanted to keep this experience a personal one. With no input from anyone else...call me weird, but I REALLY enjoyed it!!! I met with the Bishop a couple times, got all my medical paperwork, dental paperwork, release saying my shoulder was fine for a mission, etc, then submitted it all! I met with the bishop who was as excited as I was and the papers then got sent on to my stake president.  I went on a cruise with my sister and her family (and had a HARD time telling them my papers were going in), came home, met with the stake president, then my papers were sent to Salt Lake! Then the wait began...I waited...and waited...and waited.  I prayed to be prepared for wherever my call would be.  I wanted to love the people as much as I did the people in Seattle.  I still felt a connection to the area and to teaching in Spanish...even though I never made it out of the MTC. My papers went in a little more than 2 weeks before my trip to California to watch my nieces and nephews while my sister and her husband went on a cruise.  I was HOPING I would get my call before...no such luck.  I left for California, leaving my mail key with Courtney, along with instructions to overnight my mission call when it came.

You want me to do what?!?!?!-Putting the plan in place, and ANGERING Satan

1 Nephi 3:7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

This scripture stuck in my mind A LOT as I was trying to decide how in the world I was going to fit a mission into MY plans.  He will prepare a way, right?Little did I know God was fitting it into HIS plans...despite MY plans. I knew I needed to go back out, and I made the decision that after I graduated in May would be the perfect time.  It gave me a little under a year to prepare, and would work out great. After deciding to serve a mission, my car decided to prepare me for trials and frustrations...by breaking everything at once...distributor went out and killed the radiator, exhaust system, and everything else attached.  Several thousand dollars later, I had a car that ran...most of the time.  I was struggling due to the long commute to and from school (80 miles each way, 4-5 days a week). Then it died on the way to school and as I was sitting on the side of the road I realized, (spoiler alert!!!!!) life sucks. I had it towed back to Kansas City (I was in the middle of NO WHERE when it died...like give a mile marker to the tow company because there was NOTHING close by). Of course, the dealership was unable to find ANYTHING wrong with it and it started right up the next day.  I drove it straight to another dealership that had a car I wanted and signed paperwork to get a new car.  I was going to be able to sell it before leaving on my mission but still have transportation to and from school...yeah right. Due to a very INCOMPETANT *$%&*#&%*& employee at this dealership O'neill Honda that I choose to be Christ-like and won't name, that deal fell through and I was stuck with my old unreliable car. Before taking the nice car back to the dealership, I stopped at the temple to do a session to try and gain some peace and guidance in what I was supposed to do now.  I was yet again at a loss of the plan for me.  While in the temple, I immediately got my answer, and didn't like it.  Like ugly cry didn't like it (just ask the friends that just happened to be there at the same time  it was a U.G.L.Y. snot-down-my-face-can't stop blubbering long enough to say anything cry). I wasn't supposed to be in school anymore. It was taking WAY too much of my time and WAY too many years off my life. I wasn't able to concentrate on what was truly important...finishing school. And of course it was three days after the withdraw date...so I have a semester of failures on my transcript.  Failure...a term I felt very familiar with.  Failed at a mission, failed as a paramedic, failed to get married. Fail. Fail. Fail.  Wasn't I ever going to succeed? These are the thoughts that go through your head...right before something amazing happens.  Satan is trying to keep you from doing something so great, you can't even imagine.  He tries to beat you down so he can win.  Well, TAKE THAT Satan!!! I decided to put my papers in and set an appointment with the Bishop (leader of my congregation at church) to get things started.

Four in one day...what?!?!?!?! Trust me, I'm almost done with the story

Going out with the missionaries was great and blessed me, but I still struggled a little (or a lot at times).  I still thought that I needed to get ready for medical school.  I was still kind of miserable in school (second straight semester of Organic Chemistry), preparing for the MCAT (THAT was fun), getting applications ready for medical school.  My life was coming together again.  I took the MCAT, then shortly after I went to Haiti. It was JUST what the doctor ordered!!! I treated patients, I sweat, I worked hard, and it felt GREAT.  Treating patients was what I wanted to do!!! I came back from Haiti recharged and ready to go.  I continued my applications for Medical School, got back my MCAT score...not too shabby (especially for not taking any prep course and doing very little prep work (not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't find the time). I was a week away from submitting my application to several medical schools...all of a sudden, something didn't feel right.  I've become VERY familiar with that feeling over the last few years. It took a lot to figure out what that was, but at the time I KNEW now was not the time to apply to medical school...I just didn't know why.  I still felt like that was where I would end up, but not at this time in my life.  GREAT!!! Now what was I supposed to do.  I really wish I could get a blue print from God sometimes.  This is the time of your life you will be a paramedic, THIS is when you will get married, THIS is what career you will be in, etc.  It would make things SOOOOO much easier!!! I really felt uneasy about medical school, I prayed and prayed for answers, then thought back to what made me happiest.  Maybe that would be a clue to where I needed to start. I loved serving in Haiti.  I treated patients, I was able to teach and testify of Christ. I needed to go back on a mission...WAIT...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! EXACTLY what I was thinking.  I enjoyed my time in Haiti and I came home not knowing that my mission trip there was missing one "little" thing that would have made it perfect.  It took a lot of pondering and to We were able to share a little bit about Christ, but something was still missing.  I couldn't share the FULL knowledge I had of Christ (it was through a non-denominational Christian organization). I wanted to share the fullness of the Gospel that I had learned to love and rely on through the tough times.  I wanted to go on a full-time mission again. Holy Moly... I was going on a mission again...but how? when? I'm still in school?!?!?!?!?!?! I was a little very confused about how this was going to work.

Part 3-FINALLY answers

So, in December 2013, my shoulder was finally repaired after my life-altering injury.  I was off work while recovering...fighting to get enough short-term disability to recover properly. I had to go back to work a short 2 months after my surgery.  My shift had been changed, I was still staring at a screen. and still in a funk.  Because of scheduling issues, I had been working either Saturday nights, getting home shortly before church started and EXHAUSTED or Sundays.  It had been MONTHS since I had gone to church. My good friend (to remain nameless) and I were each other's therapists at this point in our lives because a) we were both on the edge of going postal and b) we were so broke and working so much we couldn't get to/afford an actual therapist. It's amazing how God puts what we need in life exactly where and when we need it.  I was over at Courtney's for dinner (a regular event). She had told me how awesome the sister missionaries were in her ward.  Then a knock on her door...and I thought "it would be hilarious if it were the missionaries". AND IT WAS.  They had found me.  Then Courtney told them about my lack of church attendance and they called me to repentance (not really, but kind of). They asked to share a message, then shared the following two Mormon Messages...both of which I had watched a LOT in the several weeks prior:

This one I watched for the first time in the MTC when it was released...and bawled because it was just what I needed to hear
https://youtu.be/coef8G5ax6E

Followed by this one that was how I felt at the time...just hoping something good was coming:
https://youtu.be/8nczw6xHJ0I

Okay, so I needed to get back to church...and luckily I was able to for a few Sundays anyways, then the sister missionaries started asking me to go to appointments with them/give them rides.  I did...and it was GREAT...whenever I had time, which was limited with my crazy schedule.  I LOVED serving them. It made work and school somewhat tolerable.  I was HAPPY again.

Part dos-Back to work after the mish

So, after blurting out to the chief that I wanted to come back to work, I almost didn't get the job.  A new hiring process just HAPPENED to start the next week. The invitation to interview came via e-mail and went to my junk mail folder.  Luckily, someone called me to say "we haven't gotten your application yet".  Needless to say, I applied, went through the process, and got hired back again. I was at home!  I LOVE being a paramedic.  I jumped right back in where I had left and was working with Dan McManigal, who would prove to be a very good friend and a big brother to me. I occasionally had the inkling that I wanted to go back on my mission, but was easily able to push that aside with how much I was loving life and what I was doing. Eventually, I had to have my right shoulder repaired again in Jan 2012, possibly a tear that hadn't been repaired and had been there since the first surgery.  A short (but LOOOONG) six months later, I was back at it.  Loving life and loving my job. Doing PR events right and left, working football games, doing my dream job while going back to school in preparation for my goal of eventually going to medical school.  I was at a school that had amazing teachers and a GREAT science program, despite an advisor that thought I was a peon because I wasn't a 4.0 right out of high school student.  Then February 20, 2013 happened and my career ended.  I was HEARTBROKEN.  However, I had an amazing relationship with a long-time friend, and we were planning on getting married later that year.  Then that ended and I was left heart broken.  Still in school, working a job that wasn't ANYTHING like the one I loved (dispatching...staring at a screen for 12 hours at a time, sending others out to do the job that I loved...having NO patient care whatsoever). I needed a change.  I wasn't enjoying school (thank you Organic Chemistry), I wasn't enjoying work, I didn't trust relationships...there was something missing and I had no idea what.  I was in a spiritual funk, feeling like there was something I was supposed to be doing, but having NO IDEA what that was. My life had been turned upside down so many times in such a short period that I had a hard time trusting my intuition...or trusting that those were promptings from God. How could a God that loved me so much let SO much tragedy happen in such a short amount of time with what seemed like no relief? (To be continued again...I have a lot to say. I haven't blogged in a REALLY long time and this is replacing my journal right now...deal with it ;) )

Big Reveal-Sometimes you don't know WHY God does something, but it's ALWAYS for your own good-Part 1

Okay....so the big project I've been working on was submitting my mission papers again!!!! AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been a rough road since I came home.  However, a lot has happened that has led me to this decision. December 1, 2009 was one of the hardest days of my life.  I've had several of those since, but nothing that left me with the emptiness and confusion as that day.  I had been preparing for my whole life to be a missionary.  I finally made it on my mission, then all of a sudden, that was gone.  I was home and lost.  A good friend who also came home (though not for QUITE as long as me) described it as feeling all sorts of emotions.  You doubt everything you believe, your worth, even the existence of God.  On one of my first weeks back, someone came up to me at church and said "you look like you've lost your best friend".  I had...that constant companionship you have on your mission both physically, and the STRONG influence of the Holy Ghost in your life is a bit of a shock when you lose it as suddenly as I did. They told me that I would be back in the field on January 5, but I knew better.  I was sent home for asthma complications, but knew that there was NO way I would make it back that soon with my shoulder surgery recover.  I hadn't even started PT yet, and hadn't even had my left shoulder fixed.  I knew at the time that I wouldn't be going back.  Despite that, I went through with the recovery and still planned on going back towards the end of Summer 2010.  Well, I had the opportunity to work at EFY that summer and save up money again before going on my mission.  It was a GREAT way to build back up the spiritual beating I had suffered.  The very last week of EFY, I went to the temple on my off day with the purpose to prepare to once again become a missionary.  However, after spending quite a bit of time pondering in the temple, I KNEW that God was telling me I wasn't to go back out on a mission.  I was crushed, but decided there must be something else for me to do. I went home at the end of the summer, got clearance from the orthopedic surgeon I would get to know VERY well over the next couple years and decided to just check in at my old job.  While meeting with the chief, I had an almost outer-body experience.  I left the office realizing "I just told him I was ready to go back to work". That had NOT been my plan and I don't even remember saying it.  I'm pretty sure God put those words in my mouth because I would not have done that on my own.  I was still being stubborn trying to figure out how I could go back on my mission. To be continued...

Great things come to those who wait...at least that's what I'm told

Okay, so I've been working on a top secret, completely amazing surprise for the last few months (and thinking about it a lot longer than that).  The whole project boils down to an amazing event that could happen at any time now.  I am about to burst with excitement and joy over this surprise.  I can't wait until I can give more information...that will come within the next couple weeks...along with videos about my journey.  Seriously, I'm giddy with excitement.  Only a few people know about what I've been working on. I'm grateful for the support and love I've received this far.  There are no words to describe my gratitude for the love and guidance I've received from my Heavenly Father.  I know without His son, I could not have gotten through this process.  I've had a lot of changes in my life that have turned my plans upside down. A friend once said they noticed my "deep relationship with Christ". This relationship is what has kept me from completely falling apart through out these trials. Locally, there is a historical site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints called "Liberty Jail".  This is one of the many places Joseph Smith was imprisoned.  While there, Joseph Smith poured his heart out to God asking questions like "Where are you? Why have you left me?  Why are you making me go through this?" and God responded with the following:

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."-Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8

These verses have brought me a lot of comfort through my trials.  A talk I read a while back referred to our own "Liberty Jail moments" when we go through those feelings of despair as "blessons" or blessings we receive as we learn our lessons from trials.  When my plans have been turned upside down, I have come to view them as blessons and ask myself what I can learn from it.  Here's to exciting projects and trials!!! (not that I want more trials...I'm grateful for my blessings gained from trials, but a trial-free period for a while is nice as well.) P.S. there will be more about Liberty Jail to come.  I'm tempted to just blurt out my project because it's been so long since I've blogged, there is probably no one left that reads it or checks for updates! Hehehe