Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh (sigh of relief)

Have you ever had a spot in your back that you just couldn't crack...then experienced that amazing relief when you finally do? Well, that's how I felt after the surgeon knocked me out and manipulated my shoulder. I was in recovery, grinning, and almost giddy when the physical therapist started moving my arm (and you all know how much I love physical therapy). It's amazing that after about 5 minutes of the surgeon moving my arm around with me out of it, I feel like a whole new person. I can reach over my head, out to the side, etc. I have full range of motion in flexion and extension, I'm 5 degrees away in internal rotation, and external rotation still has a little work, but it's totally doable! I HAVE MY ARM BACK!!! I actually look forward to PT each day now! I just love the fact that I'm progressing...and quickly. Oh yeah, and we also have a plan for the other shoulder. I will go in for another arthroscopic surgery, but this time on the left shoulder, on February 26th to repair a torn posterior labrum (for those that were curious). This will happen as long as my right arm continues to progress. It was SOOO funny when I went back to PT after the procedure. One of the PT assistants even said "I want to kiss you!" because she was so excited at how much I can move my arm. WAHOO!!! It's about time we got some good news...even if the surgeon did walk in wearing a KU cap...I guess I can forgive him after he helped my shoulder out so much...

Sounds Like Medieval Torture if You Ask Me, (but isn't that what PT's been?)

So, I FINALLY got in to see the surgeon today and here is the decision. If I were to continue with PT, I would continue to make progress, but it would take FOREVER to get my full range of motion back. So, next Tuesday (Jan 26th), I go to the operating room where they knock me out and do a "Manipulation Under Anesthesia". Basically, they are going to put me under general anesthesia (completely out), then move my arm in ways the physical therapist tried without success due to my pain. Hopefully, they won't even have to cut me open, just move my arm in every which way. This should break up the scar tissue, loosening up my shoulder enough that I can start progressing faster. The BEST part of it (insert sarcasm here) is that I get to do physical therapy at the hospital THE SAME DAY before they'll even consider releasing me. Then, I continue with PT 5 times a week for 4 weeks. But if in those 4 weeks, I progress enough, I will get to go to 3 times a week...(let's pray for that, 5 days a week in h-e-double-hockey sticks sounds like a bit much for me). My arm will be REALLY sore after, but hopefully this will allow for faster progress and regaining of my range of motion. It doesn't sound like something ANYONE would want, but I have to admit, it's kind of nice to finally know what the next step is and hopefully see progress.

Really?

Okay, so my follow-up appt with the surgeon was originally scheduled LAST YEAR (well, on Dec 14, but that was still a while ago) for Jan 9. On Jan 6, I got a LETTER in the mail saying they needed to reschedule. A LETTER. So, I called in and expressed frustration when they told me that his first opening was Jan 29...um, an extra two and a half weeks of PT without eval, I don't think so! I explained to them that we had been having problems in PT, so they decided they were going to schedule me with the PA. I politely, yes politely, told them the last time they did that, she ended up calling in the surgeon anyways. But they said she could handle it, so I took an appt with her on Jan 15. They told me they had to cancel all the appointments because of an "emergency." I've worked for a surgeon, I've used that excuse before, he's probably in Florida golfing. So, on Jan 14, PT does a re-eval, measures everything, and puts me through torture (this is the second visit in a row that I've had the therapist from you know where with very bony fingers that takes "that is tender, it hurts" as an indication of pushing harder on my muscle.) so that I can be ready for my follow-up. Well, on Jan 15, less than two hours before my appt, I get a phone call. The PA received the report from the physical therapist and wants me to see the dr...kind of what I tried to tell them on the phone over a week ago. The dr's first appt is Jan 22 now...two weeks after my initially scheduled follow-up. After expressing EXTREME frustration, the gal on the phone said she would call me back...I told her to hurry because I need to know if I should start getting ready for my appt. Well, almost an hour later, she calls me back, and the dr has an appt on Monday morning. Hopefully this one will stick. I would switch drs, but it took so much to finally get one to accept my case, that THAT would take even longer. Unfortunately, Mission Medical called as I was hanging up with the dr's office and asked how my shoulder was. After frustratedly (if that is a word) explaining to her what I had just been through, apologized for my tone, and told her I would call as soon as I heard anything. So, I will update y'all as soon as I'm finally allowed to see the dr...sigh, nothing like having to put your life on hold because another person can't make the time to fit you into to their "busy schedule". Ugh! I've convinced myself that my surgeon left suddenly to help in the relief effort in Haiti. Must be it, why else would any human do something like this?

Therapy

This entry is going to be about therapy...not physical therapy, not lying on a couch recounting your childhood therapy...but MUSIC. After being in the MTC where the only music you hear is the hymns during firesides/church meetings, and Music and the Spoken Word on Sundays, I forgot how therapeutic music can be. It all started a few days ago when I was listening to...I will confess...my Meet Miley Cyrus CD while in the shower. I couldn't resist myself...I started dancing. I continued to dance after I was squeaky clean. It just made me happy (several of the songs brought back memories from EFY dances, Miley/Hannah is played quite often). THEN, today, I got bored with watching movies (one of the few past times I can enjoy right now). I decided to turn off the TV and just plug in my MP3 player. I got SOOOOO much done! Plus, it just felt good to sit and listen to music. I feel SOOOOOO much better than I did when I woke up this morning. So, I'd just like to challenge all y'all out there to just take some time out of your day to listen to your favorite music (no matter what it is) and don't be afraid to dance. It works WONDERS on stress. Will you take some time out of your day and listen to your favorite genre of music and dance, even if it's only a couple of songs? I know it'll make you feel better and relieve stress, even if it's just for that few minutes of dancing. (gotta get my missionary challenge out there)

PT Update

So, my last appt at PT wasn't AS bad as the one before...meaning I wasn't crying. Granted, this could be because I saw the physical therapy assistant, not the actual physical therapist. AND the physical therapy assistant said she would "go easy on me" because my arm had been throbbing the entire time since the previous appt (i.e. the appt from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks) Anyways, they called my ortho doc to see about possible getting a muscle relaxant. Basically, they aren't able to "stretch my arm to it's full capacity" because my arm is stubborn and the muscles spasm out before the therapists can get to the "frozen" point of my shoulder. Basically, they can't determine if my shoulder is actually "frozen" because the muscles spasm before the physical therapist can feel the "frozen" point. Meaning, they don't know if surgery would actually be beneficial to "break up the scar tissue" because they can't determine if the scar tissue is what's causing the delay in progression. Leave it to me to do things the unconventional way. ANYWAYS, the surgeon said he doesn't want to give me any muscle relaxants or pain meds (what the physical therapists were recommending) until he (the surgeon) actually sees me at my follow-up appointment. Ugh, looks like I have 4 more PT appointments (including 1 today, and 3 next week) before we find out any new news. My follow-up appointment is on Jan 8th. Hopefully we'll be able to figure out what is causing my arm to be so stubborn, and alter my treatment plan accordingly. All I can say is whoever invented the heating pad is a God send!

Sorry for the negativity

Okay, I am going to vent a little bit. Sorry for all the negativity, but I'm just frustrated. Since I started PT, I have been in more pain than I've experienced since right after the surgery. My orthopedic surgeon told me on my first visit with him to stop taking any of my prescription pain meds, and just take 2 Aleve twice a day to keep the inflammation down. Yesterday, though, I almost lost it. I was in PT and I had chatted with the therapist about how I've been having lots of spasms since starting PT. She replied with 'it shouldn't be doing that this long after surgery,' which was really comforting. Then we proceeded with the rest of the PT session. She decided she wanted to see if I had any more motion then when she saw me when I first started PT. I explained to her the pain that I get once my arm gets to a certain point. Well, she just kept pulling/twisting/whatever other form of torture she was doing at the time. I would tell her, "that hurts, it feels like something is going to snap" and I showed her where. I have one spot that is the biggest trouble maker. Well, she would dig her finger into that spot, which would shoot pain from my shoulder down to my elbow, and keep moving my arm. Now you have to understand, I very rarely cry when I'm in physical pain. Yesterday, she had me to the point of tears several times. I actually cried in PT because it hurt so bad. I know there is a certain amount of pain associated with PT, but when the patient is crying, you would think that's a good point to stop and rest for a second. I kept telling her, all I needed was maybe a 30 second break where the muscles could rest. I mean my arm was shaking it was so fatigued. You know that running after you've ran to long where your legs are like jello and you feel like they are going to give at any moment? At the end of the session (which was supposed to be 1.5-2 hours and ended up being a little over 3!) she had the nerve to say "well your shoulder moved a little farther than it did the last time I saw you." I wanted to yell "well yeah it did, last time you stopped before the tears came."I'm very frustrated because I can't get a straight answer from anyone. I just want to start seeing progress. I've been in PT for over 2 weeks now and I can't notice any difference, unless you count the fact that the muscles from my elbow to my neck are completely knotted, I have muscle spasms at random times during every day, whether I've had PT or not, and I'm in a lot more pain than I have been since surgery-and getting less sleep because it keeps waking me up. Well, with her seeing and documenting "a little progress" in my movement, I'm afraid that the orthopedic surgeon will want me to just continue PT. Despite what the last year of my life looks like, I really don't LIKE or SEEK OUT reasons to have surgery. But now, I am really leaning towards them knocking me out and just ripping all the scar tissue loose that way. Is that irrational of me? Right now, PT is like when you taking a bandaid off one hair at a time. Surgery would be like just ripping the bandaid off-it'll hurt more initially, but everything will be loose and I can finally start progressing. I'm just scared now that the surgeon will see "progress" on the physical therapist's notes and want to stick with PT longer, but that report will probably not mention the fact that it was the therapist just deciding to just torture me instead of stopping when I told her it hurt like she did when she measured the first time. That's what PT is like right now...sheer torture. How do I explain this to the doctor without sounding like a wuss that's too lazy/doesn't want PT and is just looking for a shortcut. I would love to be able to get this fixed without surgery, but I just don't see any significant progress happening anytime in the near future with the rate we're going in PT. Any suggestions?

I read this story and laughed, because I think this is almost the point that I have reached with my ortho doc:
"A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good either. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."But Doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia.""I know," said the physician, "I can cure pneumonia!"